Happy New Year Bitches!!
We woke up on January 1st to a thick haze of optimism in the air. So many of our friends, families, and supporters are jump starting their year with new and hopeful resolutions of self improvement. Read 50 books, run a marathon, learn a new language, meal prep once a week, and the list goes on. With so many inspiring people to look to we couldn’t help but feel empowered to come up with a few of our own resolutions. Here’s our producer’s resolutions for 2019, enjoy!
Kelliann Kary - 2019 is the year I stop having periods.
I’m sick of my period running my life so I’m leaving cramps, bloating, and irritability in 2018! I won’t be getting pregnant, starting birth control, or having any major medical procedures done, oh no, this year is all about mind over matter. I’m going to go an entire year without a period using nothing but stubborn determination. This is the year I take my body back! ...Worst case I get a period 3 weeks in, I would still have made it longer than 43% of New Years resolutions. #nailedit #kelliannout
Jenna Papke - 2019 is the year I stop sleeping.
Sleep has been taking up so much of my precious working time. Seriously, who came up with this idea? A third of your life?! You know how much I could get done with that time? Which is why I’m giving up sleep for 2019. I haven’t let my head hit the pillow since the countdown and am feeling stronger and more capable than ever. You know… the click clack of keyboard keys is really soothing… rhythmic… and… tjugrhuirtiugbyhertjygfubhketjng
Allison Perry - 2019 is the year I exercise (my right to eat) more (food)
The most common resolution people fail at every year is their goal to exercise more. Not me. This year I’m going to exercise every day...my right to eat that is. Who says you need physical activity to survive? It’s not like there are studies out there that prove you’re going to live longer or anything. You know what you do need to survive? Food. And lots of it. So that’s my plan, I’m gonna eat my way through 2019 with absolutely no regrets. #letsdothis
Isabel Johnson - 2019 is the year I stop sitting.
I’ve heard that sitting is the new smoking. According to the Mayo Clinic, research has shown that sitting for long periods of time can cause “increased blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess body fat around the waist, and abnormal cholesterol levels.” So, this year I am taking a stand...for standing. Think about all the benefits? Better views in movie theaters, an excellent way to show off your ass-ets; heck, I even heard somewhere that eating while you are standing helps you lose weight! So why not stand? I am sure my knees and back are gonna feel great this year!
Annelise Eckelaert - 2019 is the year I stop being nice.
2019 is the year I’m getting married. Therefore, I vow to turn full bridezilla and make the rest of my single life about getting absolutely everything I ever wanted. Beautifully glowing skin without ever wearing any makeup and long flowing auburn locks that I will never have to pay for. (Like Kelliann said, mind over matter.) An outrageously expensive dessert and donut bar that is completely Gluten and Dairy Free that I will NOT share with my guests and hoard all to myself. That puppy I never got for Christmas in 1998? You guessed it - MINE cause rites of passage clearly specify that I must purchase a puppy to practice for motherhood immediately after marriage. #treatyoself
In conclusion, good luck with your Whole 30, we’re going to keep being the sarcastic, fun-loving, comedic bitches you’ve come to know and love.