Whelp, here we are in February and I bet you thought you’d read through this blog post from a female driven comedy company and we’d all revel together in how very pointless Valentine’s Day is or what we’re doing for “Galentines Day”. Sorry friends, not today, life is simply too short to hate something as trivial as Valentines Day.
That being said, let’s talk about how I -as a single woman- view Valentine’s Day: February 14th is. AWESOME. I find so much of my life is being disappointed with everyone around me but February 14th is MY holiday to celebrate how much I love me and unlike some guy I’ve been dating for 2 months I know exactly what I want:
I will wake up to the smell of fresh flowers I purchased for myself the night before. I will mask in the morning and wear my fancy make-up. I’ll stop for a coffee on the way to work - somewhere pretentious with awesome baked goods like Glam Doll or Spyhouse. I’ll take a long lunch and stop at the store on the way back to the office to pick up cookie dough and several bottles of Apothic red blend. Then on the way home that night, I’ll stop at the fancy cheese shop and spend top dollar on a beautiful selection of snobby cheeses. Upon my arrival home I’ll “slip into something more comfortable” - yoga pants - but not before buffing and moisturizing my entire body with all of my favorite top shelf products. Then I’ll settle in with my cheese, my wine, my cookie dough, and my cat and watch Grey’s Anatomy until I’ve had my fill. Then after a peaceful night of sleep I’ll wake up on February 15th and head to my local Walgreens to buy valentines day candy on clearance.
Someday, I’m sure I’ll find myself in a heterosexual relationship again and whatever guy I’m with will likely not shower me with love every day of the week - I honestly wouldn’t want him to. Then Valentines Day will take on a completely new meaning: It shall be the day my sig-O does something nice for me”. It’ll be a semi-annual event, the other day being my Birthday. So to all you people out there who grumble and moan about V Day, I encourage you to treat yourself to a Me Day and when you see all of your couple friends posting their undying love for each other on social media - let it go, it’s their semi-annual event. We’ll all go back to business as usual on February 15th.
In conclusion, life is what you make of it, be nice to people, and buy your own flowers because -dammit!- you’re worth it. #kelliannout